blue like jazz: the movie.

Turns out one of my favorite books, Blue Like Jazz, by one of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, has been made into a movie and will be coming out next month!  It's a wonderful book that captures real and raw elements to living out the Christian faith in everyday life.  Don Miller writes as a single guy.  He addresses living in community in the book and has a strong sense of adventure--very meantime-esque themes.  Some of his writing has really shaped my thoughts on meantime living.  God really changed me through reading Blue Like Jazz and I'm thinking the movie will be pretty powerful as well.

Check out the trailer!



You can get more information about the movie, where it's playing, and also early screening opportunities here at http://www.bluelikejazzthemovie.com/!  If it's anything like the book, you won't want to miss it!

eleven learnings from '11.

Well, as unbelievable as it seems, we’re wrapping up another year!  2011 has come and gone.  I’m one for reflection (as you probably know) and it’s always fun to see how the past year has been spent and to see what growth God has made within me in the previous 12 months.  So here’s 11 of my biggest meantime learnings from 2011.

11.  In the Meantime.  This year has been great!  I’ve been in 3 other countries, hosted parties, wrote articles, been to concerts, had precious visits and time with friends and family, coached great kids, mentored college students, learned tons about being a worship/spiritual leader, learned a new instrument (harmonica), ran a 5K, lived in community, lived in freedom probably more than any other time in my life, let God into my dark places to bring light, let people walk with me, and had a lot of stinking fun!  It's been a year of living up the meantime!  Here’s to the best year yet in 2012!

10.  Gifts.  Understanding that God has given us all gifts--some that we are proud of, some that we could just die if anyone knew about them.  He has made us all creative and wants to use that creativity for His kingdom.  I’m learning that it’s the enemies’ favorite tool to squash our creativity.  He wants us to feel stupid or that our creativity is worthless or a waste of time.  If he convinces me or you of this, he is victorious in keeping us from inspiring and leading others with God’s Word by using our gifts.  This has been a huge struggle of mine this year--with worship leading, with speaking, with writing words and writing music.  My creativity has been stomped on and I’ve allowed the enemy to embarrass me out of being creative.  In doing so, I've denied the gift I've been given and haven't allowed God to use it for what He would.  In 2012, Lord, give me boldness to use my gifts for the things that You have prepared.

9.  Stay and be content.  I’m a goer and a doer.  God is asking me to stay.  This has been new for me.  2011 had some antsy times.  God has given peace about staying.  Staying is hard because it means investing in people and persevering through the junk, the difficult times, and routine.  God asks for obedience.  God, may I be willing to go or stay as You choose in 2012.

8.  “Be okay with mystery.” –Derek Webb.  This is one of the best ways to describe my time in Nicaragua and I’m excited to get back there.  The way people prayed there and trusted in God to provide was truly inspiring. I was floored at how God powerfully answered prayer and when talking it through with students, I had no way to describe how it worked.  We can’t know.  It’s mystery.  It’s prayer.  It’s grace.  It’s God’s love and provision for us in Christ being way bigger than we could ever fathom.  While in Israel/Palestine, President Holst often said, “we’re playing the game without knowing the rules.”  This is prayer.  This is faith.  God asks us to be in relationship and communication with Him.  I have not a clue how that works.  I just know He is faithful and good.  So I play the game that I don’t know the rules to.  It’s embracing the mystery and raising up things we can’t understand as another reason to praise God, for He is beyond our understanding.

7.  TOWDAH – I wrote about this over the summer, but it’s one of the Hebrew words for praise.  It’s all about praising God for what is to come.  This is one of the coolest things I’ve learned this year.  Gratitude is huge--to be grateful for what God has done yesterday, today, and what He will do.  There’s no need to wish away the present for what may come in the future.  God will handle the future and it will be great because that’s who He is.

6.  Simplicity.  This is something I’m sure I’ll be writing more about in 2012, but simplicity has been a recent interest of mine.  In possessions, schedule, words, food, everything.  I’m reading the book:

I desire to be of simple heart—that the only thing my heart would long for is Christ and His will.  There are lots of things I desire that I don’t need.  There are lots of things I do in order to manage how others see me instead of putting that energy into my relationship with God and how He sees me.  It’s tough, but rich.  In 2012, it’s my prayer that things are draw my heart from Christ are revealed and removed.

5.  Relaxing and Control.  I had goals for this year that weren’t met.  I have a roommate that challenges me to rest and take a break, that the dishes can wait, and things don’t have to be perfect.   I have not achieved this, but am making strides to let things go.  It’s okay to fail.  It’s okay to let go of expectation and realize that life and people aren’t perfect.  We are a beautifully broken mess that God chooses to deal with.  The sooner we realize that, learn to make room for others faults, and ask for forgiveness, the better.  That’s real.  Managing how others think of us by trying to appear perfect leaves us false, empty, and isolated.  Lord, break us from our desire to manage others’ opinions of us and in doing so, lose sight of Your grace amidst our brokenness.

4.  Saying goodbyes.  This has been a year of saying goodbye and watching lots of friends and loved ones move out of my immediate, everyday world.  It’s been deeply difficult.  It continues into 2012.  God continues to remind me that He will never leave or forsake and that He provides where gaps need to be filled.  Wow.  I’ve been so amazed by that.  And at the same time, blessing me with people in my story to acknowledge that struggle and hurt and encourage me to be honest in grieving that loss.  I’ve seen the importance in that this year.  Where before I’d put on a tough face, once again, I’m seeing that this isn’t being vulnerable or letting others help, serve, or love me.

3.  Palestine and Israel.  Seeing these places has changed my perspective forever.  I loved the ordinary-ness of it all.  Jesus is a regular guy who walked around in a regular place and is also God.  Seeing the hugeness of Him and what He’s done for His people throughout generations opened my eyes to how big He still is for us today.  Oh, that we wouldn’t miss Him.

2.  Relationships & Surrender of Independence.  This has been a giant learning this year.  God knows I’ve been independent since birth.  It’s been something I thought was such a strength, but He has shown me how it’s made me push people away in order to be in control or not appear weak.  That’s not real relationship.  Relationship is letting people in to see your hurts and weaknesses.  It’s letting people help you.  It’s admitting when you’re lonely.  It’s inconveniencing yourself to invite someone into your story.  I have lots of amazing people in my story that God has continued to gift me with.  I am so grateful to not be walking alone in this thing called life.  Community.  It’s how we were made.  I’m learning this.  I’m excited to see how God uses this lesson in 2012.

1.  God simply drawing me nearer and nearer to Himself (catalyst: Pure Worship Institute, June 2011).  Being in His Word regularly, trusting Him in prayer and relationship.  As I grow more in relationship with Him, He pushes me to grow in relationship and vulnerability with others.  Overall, really tough and amazing growth.  We are a process.  The process continues in 2012.

As I think about goals and what’s to come in 2012, I want to quote a post on my 25^th birthday this year:

However, I constantly must remind myself that my goals and the points on my lists aren't always on God's list of goals and plans for my life.  Our agendas don't always line up.   … The path that we plan to take is not always the one God leads us down or if it is, it's usually not what we think it'll be.

We don't know the plans.  When we get so set on our own plans for our story and find out that they don't come to pass, it can be easy to get discouraged and disappointed. … Be gracious in your reflection.  Embrace your journey.  Realize that wherever you are in that journey that God has filled your life with stories.  They may not have been the stories I would've chosen, but it'd be lame if they all were.  Every once in awhile you watch a movie knowing how it ends, but generally it's not desired to know the outcome. Life leaves an element of surprise that teaches us to trust and lean on one another.  I want adventure and that's unpredictable.

Even with boxes unchecked, there is always one thing on my list I can accomplish.  That's to bring joy.  To choose joy in the waiting.  In the adventure.  In the mishaps of adventure.  In the boring.  In the devastating.  In the seemingly hopeless and the utterly disappointing.  Choosing joy.  Bringing joy to others.  No matter the things to come or what has been, God is faithful.  God is providing.  God is unfolding.  He is untouchable and unchanged.  As long as the tomb is still empty, we have reason to be overflowing with joy.  If you are disappointed about failing to accomplish any goal, may it be that one.

So here's to [2012]--a year of joy and adventures both planned and unexpected, and to the grace I will rest in for the things that don't get accomplished.  Here's to lessons, stories, relationships, and choosing joy.

 

Happy New Year, everyone.

be gracious with yourself: lists, rock climbing, & being 25.

Well friends, here I am.  My 24th year has come and gone.  Tomorrow is pretty much the official ending to my summer as students return for training week.  Another summer here and gone.  It made me think about time and our expectations.

So for those of you who have looked at this thing a time or two, maybe you saw my summer adventure list.  Today I'm realizing, as reflect on this list I made for myself, how very ambitious I naturally am.  So much so, in fact, that I'm still not convinced I can't finish a few more of these things within the next few weeks.  Ambitious, I tell you!

I'm just over half for my list.  The Stonearch bridge was walked, I started the harmonica, did some water activities, hit up the farmer's market and outdoor concert fun, took a road trip, got red in my hair, tried a new food at Seasalt (that's a 2 for 1).  A few I didn't exactly accomplish, but close variations that I may choose to claim.  A few I still hold out hope for.

One thing that wasn't on my list was rock climbing.  A few friends and I went rock climbing last week.  We had fun.  I thought myself to be fairly experienced with climbing walls after a summer of it at my camp.  After 2 consecutive days of hard workouts previously to climbing, my body was very sore.  I was a little worried about that, but still pretty confident because I wasn't new to this activity.  Boy, did I stink.  I was not good.  I only made it to the top maybe 3 times.  I couldn't grip the holds.  My muscles were shaking and I gave up after awhile.  My friend who was new to climbing had little trouble scaling the walls.  Usually I'd spend a day or two moping about this or being bitter toward my friend for doing better than me.  Especially when it comes to physical challenges, I want to excel!  This failure was awesome.  I fought the bad feelings, stopped making excuses, accepted my limitations, and embraced the day as fun.  I didn't meet my expectations, but I tried, I learned, and had a good time with friends.

So I'm a person of reflection.  Maybe that's because a professor I had in college couldn't get enough of it, but I appreciate the opportunity to take life beyond just experiencing, but actually gleaning something.  So I spent some time reflecting on my summer.  And year 24 of my life.

There were beautiful times and difficult times found in each--some experiences being both beautiful and difficult simultaneously.  Each had its own set of expectations.

--I always want to make a year the best year ever.  I want to make an age worthwhile.  I feel pretty good about doing that with 24.  I've challenged myself personally and relationally.  I've taken huge strides in walking in community and exploring what it means to surrender independence.  I've worked through wounds (and still continue to do so).  I've experienced the joy and hardship of my first year of professional ministry.  I've taken journeys. :-)  Co-leading my first abroad trip and getting to experience the Holy Land, something that 24 will always be remembered by.

--This summer, I've processed through many difficult good-byes, learned how to rest on my own, began to learn how to embrace community with generosity and love, and learned that some of the best adventures or experience are ones you didn't plan on or even know you wanted.  Those rock.

Even so, with all of that, I felt a tug yesterday.  As birthday wishes rolled in, I heard lots of jokes about being closer to 30 and being asked what it feels like to be on the brink of a quarter-life crisis.  I take it all pretty lightly, but for a moment I wondered, "I'm 25.  What do I have to show for it?"  I laughed to myself.  Well...not really much of any possessions, which I'm pretty okay with,...not a diversified portfolio or kids or a boyfriend or a cool car or a master's degree or an album or even a pet.  I've been trying to climb this wall called life for 25 years and sometimes it feels like I haven't grabbed too many big holds.  It's easy to get discouraged by expectation.  Most of the time, I would argue, that they're not even our own expectations, but an expectation of comparison--an oh-so-dangerous measuring stick to live by.

Obviously, there's lots that an ambitious girl didn't get done with her summer.  It's a fact.  I've embraced my ambition.  I understand that some things have to be let go.  Lists and goals are beautiful things.  It keeps us intentional and focused.  We need some prize to keep our eye on.  However, I constantly must remind myself that the points on my goals and lists aren't always on God's list of goals and plans for my life.  Our agendas don't always line up.  I think I'm going to end up in Minnesota with another snowy spring break and He gives me the gift of a 10 days in Israel.  The path that we plan to take is not always the one God leads us down or if it is, it's usually not what we think it'll be.

We don't know the plans.  When we get so set on our own plans for our story and find out that they don't come to pass, it can be easy to get discouraged and disappointed.  The purpose for lists is to keep us going, not stop us with guilt and regret.

I refuse to be disappointed with the amount of checks on my summer adventure list (even though it'd be fun to get a couple more).  I refuse to be upset or bitter about things I haven't yet accomplished in my life.  God gave us freedom and grace.  It's not just for us to give away to others, but also to receive ourselves.  Be gracious in your reflection.  Embrace your journey.  Realize that wherever you are in that journey that God has filled your life with stories.  They may not have been the stories I would've chosen, but it'd be lame if they all were.  Every once in awhile you watch a movie knowing how it ends, but generally it's not desired to know the outcome. Life leaves an element of surprise that teaches us to trust and lean on one another.  I want adventure and that's unpredictable.

Even with boxes unchecked, there is always one thing on my list I can accomplish.  That's to bring joy.  To choose joy in the waiting.  In the adventure.  In the mishaps of adventure.  In the boring.  In the devastating.  In the seemingly hopeless and the utterly disappointing.  Choosing joy.  Bringing joy to others.  No matter the things to come or what has been, God is faithful.  God is providing.  God is unfolding.  He is untouchable and unchanged.  As long as the tomb is still empty, we have reason to be overflowing with joy.  If you are disappointed about failing to accomplish any goal, may it be that one.

So here's to 25--a year of joy and adventures both planned and unexpected, and to the grace I will rest in for the things that don't get accomplished.  Here's to lessons, stories, relationships, and choosing joy.

Grace and peace, friends.

meantime adventures.

Memorial Day weekend is awesome.  You know that feeling that comes half way through Sunday when you're like "tomorrow is Monday?!  Where'd the weekend go?!"  Well, this week it doesn't count!

The past week has deserved an extra day off and day off I had.  Following a busy week and sort of a lazy/mopey day yesterday, a free, beautiful Memorial Day hanging with my dear friend was just what the doctor ordered.  Today I realized something.  A milestone has passed this week and it's been tough because I don't have much to look forward to at the moment.  I've been busy soaking up the present, but that's been a difficult present to live in.  It's important to do that, but the time has come to lift my chin up and look forward.

So today I decided to make a list of summer adventures I want to go on.  In effort to soak up every moment of Minnesota awesomeness, making a list is the best way to be intentional and actually make that happen.  So here ya go:

Shelly's List of Summer Adventures

• Camping/Backpacking on an overnight.
• Go to the Stonearch bridge.
• Go to Stillwater (It's about time.  Right, Katy?)
• Some sort of water activity -- tubing, canoeing, etc.
• Begin learning harmonica.
• Write 4 new songs.
• Happy Hour on Stella's roof patio.
• At least 2 Sunday afternoons at a lake beach doing absolutely nothing.
• buy produce at Minneapolis Farmer's Market.
• Make salmon for dinner.
• Go to Valley Fair (& take bathing suit this year).
• Outdoor concert and/or summer movie.
• Explore a new area of the cities (including going to a new restaurant or coffee shop)
• Eat at Seasalt.
• Read 2 books about campus ministry/college aged people.
• Go fishing.
• Run, walk, or rollerblade (hopefully a couple of times a week)
• Try a new food.
• Dress up and go dancing.
• Go to a Saints game.
• Tell someone how I see Jesus in them.
• Be Jesus to someone.
• Go on a road trip of some sort.
• See a show at the Guthrie.
• Put red in my hair.
• Surprise someone with a gift.
• Bring joy.

Donald Miller wrote a book called "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years."  It's all about living a better story.  I'm not convinced that doing all of these things will bring about a better meantime story for me, but they could be some great catalysts to some awesome stories.  Just thinking about these things gives me joy and excitement.  Who knows who I will meet, who I will share these adventures with, what we will find, or what will happen when we get there.  I'm excited to find out.  Sometimes it's hard to see a beginning when you end something great.  The past few days I've been clinging to the truth in the Word that says God is making all things new and working for the good of those who love him.  Here's to a new beginning full of meantime adventures.