Tuesday, March 15, 2011

still waiting...

When I think about my life as of 2011, I start to go a little cross-eyed.  So much has happened.  I've made so many tracks and been stretched in more ways than I knew possible.  I've seen 3ish countries.  I've walked where Jesus did and seen His hometown.  I ran down a volcano in Nicaragua and was changed by the hearts of the people there.  I've seen people struggle in the midst of circumstance--poverty, mental and emotional challenges and political struggles--and have witnessed what it means to overcome through adversity.  I've been blessed to lead people of my local congregation in worship as well as sisters retreating to meet with God.  I've been invited to walk alongside dear young women in their faith journey and been in need of sisters to walk alongside of me.  I can't really wrap my head around all that has taken place in the past 2 1/2 months.  I am tired.  And grateful.  God is so good to me.

All that being said, tonight I'm left waiting.  I know, you're probably thinking this is beyond possible.  Well, folks, I've been known to throw a curve ball or two in my life.  It's true.  I'm still waiting.  I think it's humorous to think about.  God truly has given me such a huge passion for travel, culture, people, worship, and listening to all of things aforementioned.  It's humorous to me because I feel as though the more of these things I experience, the more my desire to be home with Christ grows in my heart.  God has given us an amazing world to explore, but the more I see and do, the more I realize I don't belong here.  I don't belong anywhere but with Him.  The more people I meet and love and give a piece of my heart to, the more I realize my deep thirst for a perfect connection with my Savior.  People are great--one of my favorite gifts of life.  The more people I love, the more people I am away from at a given moment.  And it's funny, even though I miss many people around the world, there aren't really any people in my life that I'm always mindful of or sorely missing all the time.  It's as if the more people I meet and love and leave, the more alone I feel.  I can't wait to be reunited with the Family, the Church.  I can't wait to be in the perfect relationship with Christ that I was designed for.  It seems sad to have experienced so much, so much that was absolutely fantastic, and still be left wanting.  But the more I've thought about it, our Father wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm excited for Jesus to bring out the good wine at the heavenly feast.  You know what's to come is way better.  I can't wait.

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