4 When [Jesus] had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”
5 Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”
Life in the past couple of weeks has been a bit of a whirlwind. Finals week with all of the accompanying ceremonies, my sister's wedding and all that entails, and getting back in time to say goodbye to friends moving today. And it still isn't over. The next week holds more services, parties, and goodbyes.
Much around me is changing quickly. I'm surprisingly grounded at the moment. Maybe it's surreality or maybe it's peace reigning in my heart. Either way, I'm doing okay. I think, though, the thing that's made the difference is this: I'm rejoicing in obedience. Weird, right?
I truly am heartbroken at the amount of my closest people that are going here and there.
This has been a wonderful time in my life. I'm grieving at the loss of people and routine hangout times. I have to. It it my tendency to be tough and lock it up. I have to keep telling myself that it is a big deal. It does deserve weight. That being said, I am glad to say that God is more creative than that (thanks for naming this for me, Barrett). It's not just a sad ending.
Last week, God showed me how awesome it is that I have such amazing people in my life who are willing to say "Here I am, Lord. Send me!" I rejoice in their obedience to take up the call to go to seminary, on ministry internships, or be sent to be used by Him. My sadness is proof of their obedience to God's call even though it proves difficult. I rejoice in that obedience. I rejoice in what God has done in them and how He will use them in the future. I rejoice that I get to watch and be their prayer warrior and cheerleader. I rejoice in their love for Jesus and surrender to Him. I'm also clinging to my own obedience. My friends have asked me to come along to St. Louis. I could've if I really wanted to. I know, though, that I am called here. I realize more and more all of the time that this is where God is using me for now and for who knows how long. I have realized that I am not just being left behind, but also taking up my call to stay here. Jesus, give me a spirit of obedience even though it is trying.
And so I come back to Luke 5:5. The disciples had been fishing all night. They'd waited and waited. The night was tough. It wasn't what they'd expected, but even when it was difficult and they were so tired, they said, "okay, Lord, we'll obey Your request." They did. And guess what, He knew best. Go figure.
My favorite sign in Israel was at the spot that commemorated Jesus and His fisherman disciples. It said this:
At Thy word I will let down the net. Luke 5:5"The deeds and miracle of Jesus are not actions of the past. Jesus is waiting for those who are still prepared to take risks at His word because they trust His power utterly.”
Give us obedience as we wait to see Your will unfold even in adversity. Help us trust in Your power utterly. Today, my heart aches, but I know it's You who has the plans and so I give mine to You. Lord, today, I'm letting down my nets because You've said so.