I used to jam to this song...
I would think..."yeah, that's right...I'm Miss Independent." Not actually realizing that the song is all about breaking that whole tough exterior down for the sake of love. We could learn a thing or two from Miss Clarkson.
This post is the first of several about you and me and our unhealthy need for independence.
It's something that we strive for in our society. It's something we admire of some and shame of others for lacking it. Despite all this, I heard Jeff Deyo say a couple of weeks ago: "Independence is the greatest deterrent of intimacy." As tough as it is to say, I am starting to agree.
Before you get all defensive and say "Shelly, you are way off...independence means strength and knowing who you are and it is necessary," let me just say 2 things:
1. I'm writing this because I am chief of sinners in this department and fully claim that. I've LOVED my independence and lived in it to the full. I've loved the fact that I'm a strong, independent woman. I've loved it too much. I have been convicted of this and see the destruction it has caused and continues to cause in my life and I know I'm not alone.
2. The definition of independence is as follows:
"freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.
Will you let that sink in for a minute? What does that mean for our culture and our relationships with others? What does that mean for our relationship with God?
Take some time to really dig into those questions. Let me know what you think.
The next few posts are going to dig into what Scripture has to say about independence as well as some cool stuff God is teaching me at the moment. I know that this is a huge challenge for many people living in many meantimes, especially the single meantime. It's my prayer that together God will reveal to us how life best works in relationship with Him and others and show us what is preventing us from living in those relationships. Stay tuned.