smitten.

I've always been a tough girl.  I've taken pride in that for a long time.  I can do things myself...you've heard my independence story.  I grew up thinking that feelings, "mushy stuff," and gushing about love and like were ridiculous and for the softees of the world--the weak ones.  Not me.  I'm tough.

God is so awesome.  I just want to say that.

Since I've left home as an 18 year old, God has been softening me.  For awhile it was my incessant prayer that He would.  That He would help me to feel compassion for others, to experience the depth of pain and the height of joy, that He would break me down to ask for help, and that He would help me to receive love.  Romantic or otherwise, it's been difficult for me.  He doesn't give up.  He keeps pursuing hard hearts.

I met up with my friend, Mary, for appetizers last week.  It was a gorgeous fall day.  I spend a few hours at my favorite coffee shop that I had been neglecting.  My play list was off the charts.  I spent an hour or more just digging into Scripture that afternoon.  By the time I met Mary that afternoon, I was glowing.  I had been romanced for the afternoon by the God of the universe.  I had only one word.  Smitten.

Surprised?  Me too. :-)  I'm not really the smitten type.  I've been too tough for that.  But tonight, I sit in my low lit room, with a glass of wine, a scented candle and pretty music in the background as God speaks to me His love and promises through His Word.  He's teaching me to be loved, to have butterflies, to be delighted in and it's awesome.  So awesome.

He's teaching me what it looks like to be pursued and loved so I'll know when it comes.  He pursues me with the colors of fall, quiet moments with sun on my face, serene drives with the windows down, warm coffee drinks, beautiful music, intoxicating breezes, beautiful nights, reality that's too good to be true, and the thoughtfulness of strangers.  He chases me with the things that bring my soul to life--things He only knows I need to feel special.  He's relentless in pursuing the hearts of His children.  I know that the man who pursues me won't do it like God does.  He can't.  But I'm grateful that God is teaching my heart to be loved.

I pray He teaches yours and gives us both an opportunity to love in return both toward Him and the one we wait for.  I pray that once our waiting is done, we will still have eyes open to how our God pursues us as His beloved and continue to be smitten by your Savior.