living holy week all year.

Well, after a bit of hiatus, I'm back to waiting.
I've found myself sitting at a coffee shop in KC after being dropped off by one ride and waiting for another to take me back to Minnesota.  My ride here had to go to work.  My ride from here wasn't planning to meet me for awhile, so here I am.  Waiting.

I don't mind it.  I smile...it brings me back to what God is teaching me.  Besides, it's kind of nice having blocked out time for solitude.  I also enjoyed some down time at the same cafe on the way here for before Easter.  And as I think about it, I can't help but think how appropriate it is.

It doesn't really get much air time in Scripture, but waiting was a big part of the Passion and Easter story.  From Good Friday to Easter Sunday, Jesus' friends were waiting.  Check it out.

Luke says: 
It was Preparation Day. The Sabbath was about to begin.  The women who had come with Jesus from Galilee followed Joseph. They saw the tomb and how Jesus' body was placed in it.  Then they went home. There they prepared spices and perfumes. But they rested on the Sabbath day in order to obey the Law. (Luke 23:54-56)


I don't really think they really got the fact that they were waiting for the resurrection.  Jesus tried to explain it, but still, here we find the disciples hiding in fear for three days.  The disciples were hiding, waiting for resolution.  The women were waiting for Sabbath/Passover to end so they could go anoint Jesus' Body.  Now that their Messiah was dead and the hope that they were looking for died, they were waiting for what would happen next.  Regardless of what they would've liked to do, it was the Sabbath.  They had to be still and wait in accordance with the Jewish law.  The women were eager to go to Jesus' body.  So eager that they prepared everything before the Sabbath, so they could leave right away when it broke.  Until then, though, they could do nothing.  No funeral ceremonies or preparations.  No making casseroles for the bereaved family or picking hymns.  No ordering flowers.  They had to wait.  Waiting was and is difficult.

The three days.  It's the down time between death and new life.  It's often where we live now--experiencing the effects of brokenness and not yet in the full resurrection that is coming.  Jesus saying to us: "Wait.  There's nothing you can do.  Let me make all things new.  Let me show my glory."  Boy, did he.  In a way those women could've never imagined (see stones will roll for more on that story).

And as I sit here waiting, I wonder if it could be beneficial to us to live life in a Holy Week cycle. 

Without being a Debbie downer, I'll be honest.  In my world (and if you're honest, in your world), Good Friday looms all year round.  Every time I get dropped off by someone I love, it's a little Good Friday.  It hurts.  Friends experience difficult times.  Death happens.  Great experiences come to an end.  Good Friday keeps popping up.

But Good Friday always gives way to a victorious Sunday.  Jesus comes and does make all things new.

My days, weeks, months, and years are filled with glimpses of Easter.  Creation is so excited with new life that it can't be contained!  Take a new day, for example.  It's a new chance for life.  A new shot at living life to the full and bringing life to others.  Every time I get picked up by someone I love, it's a little Easter.  New life is breathed into me.  New opportunity.  New fun and stories.  A new journey.

From something dead comes life.  That's Easter, people.  It's all around us.  I  pray that God would give us eyes that eagerly look for Easter when hints of Good Friday loom.  That we would have hearts that can't help but wait to see Christ glorified in darkness.  In times of death and brokenness, we would see it as another opportunity for Christ to bring His resurrection to life in our lives.  God help us to trust the end of the story.  Give us lives of hope--hope knowing that death couldn't hold You.  Hope that promises in all things You're working for Your glory and our good.  Help us not to be stuck on Good Friday, but excited for Sunday.  You're good, Lord.  Thanks for Sunday.  Thank you that we have something sure that we're waiting for--that we can live in Your Holy Week.

sorry to keep you waiting...

[deep inhale...and exhale]

It's been a week. Not a bad week at all. There have been many things in the past week that have been quite lovely, in fact. But boy, has it been full! I started a busy weekend already exhausted and ended it lamenting my shortened rest time.

But if I really want to be honest with myself, I have to admit that I've been running on fumes for awhile.

Once again, wearing my busyness like a badge of honor, I have overlooked and given up what is the most important. I realized and admitted to a friend last night that I have allowed ministry to interfere with my relationship with God. Ironic, right? And ugly. All the worst things come out of something so destructive. I went home incredibly humbled and repentant. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of being tired and dry and running thin. It's not fun, it's not healthy, and it's not God-pleasing. Plain and simple. I went to bed last night telling the Lord how sorry I am and telling Him that I do want to make a change and do better.

I imagine myself in my own prodigal story. I run away only to do things that will make my Father proud. Working desperately to bring Him honor and please people in His Name while unknowingly running further away from Him. I turn around tired and crabby, but looking for gold stars and praise from my Father, but He's not among my stress and toiling. I catch a glance of Him out of the corner of my eye with His arms open, excited to be with me and hear from me. I sheepishly walk His way, knowing that my very intentions to work hard for Him have encroached on the time I spend in relationship with Him. As He embraces me, all I can mumble is, "sorry to keep you waiting.." He laughs and is delighted to be holding me in His arms. This is my prodigal story. One of busyness, ambition, achievement, and success. That's what drew me away. Praise God for waiting for us like He does.

So, this evening I had one of my first free evenings in ages. I have been excited all day. So what did I do with my evening? I went on a date.

Well, not your typical date, I suppose, but a date nonetheless. I took myself out to dinner. It was kind of fun--there were at least 2 other people near me in the restaurant who were alone and reading books. So sitting among them, I busted out my Bible and spent some long overdue time with my Savior. QT with JC.

The Life Journal reading for today was from 2 Corinthians 11 and started out like this:
"For I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God himself. I promised you as a pure bride to one husband—Christ. 3But I fear that somehow your pure and undivided devotion to Christ will be corrupted, just as Eve was deceived by the cunning ways of the serpent."

I was stopped in my tracks for a moment. Yep. I know You're jealous for me, Lord. My devotion to you has been corrupted by the a cunning tactic of shadowing You with good things. I know You've made our relationship perfect in Christ. Help me to live in it. Sorry I've kept You waiting.

I've spent the rest of the evening just chilling solo. Talking to God some. Listening some. Reading some. Just enjoying an evening abundant in solitude and lacking in demand. It's beautiful and vibrancy of life returns. Like when you catch up with an old friend after a long time...and then you wonder to yourself, why did I wait so long?!

If you're anything like me, life spirals out of control quickly. The cunning of the enemy sneaks under the radar and divides our devotion for God without us even realizing it. My encouragement to you and me is to be aware. Make time to spend in the most important relationship you've ever had and ever will have. If you need to spend time fighting with Him, do it. If you need to spend time resting in His lap, do it. He's right there. Don't keep Him waiting.

when waiting becomes the thing.

In the few weeks I've been home from Israel, I've spent a lot of time thinking about all I'd seen.  The Jewish faith tradition has been one thing that has really stood out to me.  In my basic observations of Judaism in Israel, it seems like the ending of animal sacrifice is the biggest thing that has changed from the time that Jesus walked the earth and that stopped only a short time later.  From my novice eye, most things are generally the same.  It is a faith system filled with rich traditions that point to a coming messiah.  I looked around Jerusalem and saw so many people living lives of waiting.  The heart of this people group is devoutly studying and anxiously watching for the arrival of one who will save.
It was sad for me to see.  The very places where Jesus walked, the very people that God chose to use, the very system Jesus grew up within, the beauty of the Jewish devotion--and yet, they missed Him.  So many times I wanted to scream, "STOP WAITING!!  HE'S ALREADY HERE!!  I'm not sure that would've been super helpful or maybe I'm just not that bold.  Either way, it taught me something.  When waiting becomes the thing, we've got a problem.

It's funny how waiting can take over like that.  So maybe you've caught on that I enjoy doing a fair amount of traveling.  I find, though, that the longer I am waiting to go on a trip, the more difficult it is for me to really be present while I'm traveling.  It's been so built up in my mind that it's hard to fathom that the trip has come.  I get home wondering, "did that actually happen?"  Of course it did.  But it goes to show that we can get so wrapped up in waiting and stuck in what is to come, that we miss it.  That's what happens when waiting becomes the thing.

Jesus told the Jewish people of His day:
“I have testimony weightier than that of John. For the very work that the Father has given me to finish, and which I am doing, testifies that the Father has sent me. And the Father who sent me has himself testified concerning me. You have never heard his voice nor seen his form, nor does his word dwell in you, for you do not believe the one he sent.  You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me,  yet you refuse to come to me to have life." John 5:36-40

These people knew the Scriptures.  They knew the Messiah was coming and were well read in the prophecies that told of Him.  Even though the One before them was the fulfillment of all they'd studied, they didn't recognize Him.  They were so deep into waiting that the idea salvation had arrived in Jesus, drove them to kill the One sent.  The waiting had become the thing.  It's as if He was saying, "you're looking so hard for something, wanting to be ready for something, and it's right here in front of you.  I AM.  Don't miss Me."

I wonder how often He thinks that of me.  Take my prayer life, for example.


I pray for healing and freedom.  2 Corinthians 3:17 says: "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."  Freedom and healing are here.

I pray for joy in the salvation of the Lord.  Romans 11 says that "salvation has come to the Gentiles."  Salvation is here for us right now!

I pray for community and relationship.  Hebrews 12:1 says,"we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses," and that I can "throw off everything that hinders."  I'm already connected to a Body and part of something greater.

There are so many things in our lives that we're waiting on and have been blinded to the truth that we already have them in Christ!  2 Corinthians 1:20-21 says that: "no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ."

All of the promises God has made yesterday, today, and for the future are "yes" in Christ.  He is the fulfillment of what was and the hope for what will come.  Salvation.  Freedom from bitterness.  Life.  Freedom to forgive.  Healing for wounds.  Freedom to serve.  Peace.  Freedom to say no.  Joy.  Community.  They have arrived!


My honest encouragement for you and me today is this: If these are the things you are waiting for, stop waiting.  It's time to rest in the life that's come through Christ.  It is time to hand over  bondage of sin issues.  It's time to see that God's kids don't live that way and trust in something greater for us.  Refuse to make waiting the thing.  Christ is what waiting points to and He's arrived with life for you.  Nothing would delight Him more than to see you live in it.

keep moving.

Throughout the process of "In the Meantime," I've observed how much people despise waiting.  Everything about our culture screams instant gratification.  We are a people who want and want now.  I see this and know it's true, but in the past week, God has shown me how willing and even insistent we are to wait for things when we are uncertain of their outcome.  Track with me...

Right now on campus, we're in a Lenten series that is taking us on a journey to the cross via the story of Israel journeying to the Promised Land.  Last week's study was from Exodus 14.  Israel has walked out of Egypt and are approaching the Red Sea.  They see that the Egyptians are coming over the hills and are feeling trapped as they camp in the valley.  The Israelites are afraid and stop to cry out to God about their incredibly desperate situation.  I laughed when I heard God's response.  I was surprised at how relevant it was to me right now.

"Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving!" Exodus 14:15 NLT

Lately, I've heard a lot about uncertainty in future plans.  Uncertainty is true for all of us on some level, but some more so than others.  For me, I'm coming up on a time where my social support is about to be rocked because dear people in my life being faithful to calls in many and various places that are not near me.  To that, I say, "Wait, Lord.  I'm not ready yet.  Put something else in place for me before they leave.  Write up a couple of proposals for Your plans of how you will provide for me, so I can be at ease.  Don't change anything until I have it figured out and know it's going to be okay."

I find myself insistent on waiting when I am out of control.  If I don't know how something will work out, I don't want to jump in until I do know.  I heard this same sentiment from a friend about a job issue, another about a relationship situation, and still another about financial plans.  We want to know the outcome before we take a step.  God is asking something different of us.

Israel was crying out to God.  Can you imagine?  There's no where for you to go and the enemy is on your heels.  I would be the first to say that we need to stop and figure out what God is doing before we do anything else.  It's then that God simply says, "I already told you what to do and that I am leading you to the Promised Land.  Keep walking.  Trust me and keep walking."  God asks something different of us because He knows the great provision He's laid before us.

It makes me think of one of our craziest nights in Ghana.  We got to our hotel late in the evening.  It was at the end of a dark and winding road.  Branches of the rain forest scraped along the bus windows as we drove.  All of a sudden we stopped moving and the only sound on the bus was that of tires spinning in thick mud.  We were a very large bus stuck in a very large mud pit with no dry ground to allow us to passage.  Soon after, they had everyone get off the bus and walk the rest of the way of the dark road to our hotel, but the bus still had to get through and somehow it did.  The next morning, we loaded our luggage on the bus and walked down the same muddy road in the daylight this time.  On our walk back, we could see the wooden planks that some men had laid down to create dry ground for the bus to get traction on.

I thought back to the night before.  Our driver didn't know what the next bit of ground would have in store, but just in front of him there was dry ground to move forward on.  Life beyond the plank of wood was unknown, but he drove on in trust that the bus would make it.  In the daylight, we could see the planks and how they led to dry ground.  We could see the path that had been prepared for the bus to follow, but on the way there it was uncertain.

We can always see it walking back down memory lane.  We can see how God prepared the way for us and what He was doing all along, but while we're walking on our journey, we can only see the next plank in front of us.  He's asking us to keep walking.  Don't wait until you're in control, but walk in faith.  Believe that God is our Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides.  Take steps knowing that God made dry ground for Israel and He will for you, too.  Do what He says.  Keep moving.

good things come to people who go for it!

sitting at the Sea of Galilee

So I've been back at home for a full week now.  I think I'm starting to finally kick the jet lag and I've re-accustomed to flushing toilet paper and having my own bedroom.  All that is true, but my brain is still somewhere tooling around Israel.  It's not even that I long to be there.  I don't really.  I liked it to visit, but I didn't feel the need to stay there forever.  But my head is there.  It's still processing and sorting through all of the amazing things we did and saw there.  Man, it was amazing and I'm still figuring out all that I've learned and am learning from the trip.  Being able to walk where Jesus did and see the things His human eyes saw really fills your mind quickly.  I'm trying to connect pieces; places with names and stories.  It's a lot to take in even now that I'm back.  It was an incredible gift and I'm grateful for the depth of learning and experience I was blessed with there.

I think about this trip and smile.  I've wanted to go to the Holy Land since I was just a little Shelly singing Father Abraham at a little country church.  I've wanted to see all the Bible places since I could read about them.  I'd been waiting a lifetime for this trip.  When the President of our university invited me to go to Israel a couple of months ago, I wanted to go, but wasn't so sure.  I talked to my parents and immediately my head was filled with doubt about it.  I didn't have the money to go.  I should be saving for a car, putting money into life insurance, and thinking like a responsible young professional.  And let's be real, I probably chose the less responsible option.  Sometimes you just have to do that though.  God figured out a way to make it work.  The money showed up and was figured out and I went to Israel.  I went for it.

I could've waited.  I'm sure there would've been another opportunity.  But sometimes good things come to those who go for it.  Living in the meantime doesn't mean a boring life of waiting.  The waiting talked about in Scripture is active.  In Scripture, especially with the early church, the Lord sent both signals.  He told them to wait.  Wait to be filled with power and the Holy Spirit.  He told them to go.  Go out into every town and village to share the Good News of Christ.  Sometimes it's time to wait.  Sometimes it's time to go for it.  Abraham shows us this, too.  [He also showed what happens when we get the two mixed up, but ya know...we've all been there.]  He and his wife, Sarah, waited for years and years to have the children God had promised them.  Simultaneously, God told them to seize the day and leave the land where they were to follow where He led.  They went for it and followed and made a covenant with God.  It was awesome.  Abraham didn't do so well with the waiting and kind of jumped the gun with having kids, but God was still faithful in bringing Isaac after another bit of waiting.  I guess my point is this: don't spend your life doing one thing without the other.  Wait for what's to come and go for what is before you.

I think about times when I was so busy waiting for something and looking forward that I missed what was right in front of me.  Sometimes we have to take a chance on the opportunities in front of us, knowing that each choice we make is a risk and could result in a good/bad/yes to both experience for us.  In this instance, it was good.  I made sacrifices, but experienced awesome things and God used this trip to provide me with depth of wisdom and friendship that I'd been waiting for.  Either way, we live in grace.  God is works all things for our good and desires us to live free and abundant lives both now and forever.

This trip was something I'm glad I went for.  My eyes were opened to Scripture, history, and people in a way that has changed me forever.  What a gift.  And so I say, yes..good things come to those who wait...and who go for it.  Choose wisely and live in freedom.

still waiting...

When I think about my life as of 2011, I start to go a little cross-eyed.  So much has happened.  I've made so many tracks and been stretched in more ways than I knew possible.  I've seen 3ish countries.  I've walked where Jesus did and seen His hometown.  I ran down a volcano in Nicaragua and was changed by the hearts of the people there.  I've seen people struggle in the midst of circumstance--poverty, mental and emotional challenges and political struggles--and have witnessed what it means to overcome through adversity.  I've been blessed to lead people of my local congregation in worship as well as sisters retreating to meet with God.  I've been invited to walk alongside dear young women in their faith journey and been in need of sisters to walk alongside of me.  I can't really wrap my head around all that has taken place in the past 2 1/2 months.  I am tired.  And grateful.  God is so good to me.

All that being said, tonight I'm left waiting.  I know, you're probably thinking this is beyond possible.  Well, folks, I've been known to throw a curve ball or two in my life.  It's true.  I'm still waiting.  I think it's humorous to think about.  God truly has given me such a huge passion for travel, culture, people, worship, and listening to all of things aforementioned.  It's humorous to me because I feel as though the more of these things I experience, the more my desire to be home with Christ grows in my heart.  God has given us an amazing world to explore, but the more I see and do, the more I realize I don't belong here.  I don't belong anywhere but with Him.  The more people I meet and love and give a piece of my heart to, the more I realize my deep thirst for a perfect connection with my Savior.  People are great--one of my favorite gifts of life.  The more people I love, the more people I am away from at a given moment.  And it's funny, even though I miss many people around the world, there aren't really any people in my life that I'm always mindful of or sorely missing all the time.  It's as if the more people I meet and love and leave, the more alone I feel.  I can't wait to be reunited with the Family, the Church.  I can't wait to be in the perfect relationship with Christ that I was designed for.  It seems sad to have experienced so much, so much that was absolutely fantastic, and still be left wanting.  But the more I've thought about it, our Father wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm excited for Jesus to bring out the good wine at the heavenly feast.  You know what's to come is way better.  I can't wait.

I'm off to Israel!  See ya when I'm back...  I'll keep you waiting... :)